What Men Want These Days

You know ladies, there's always talk about what women want but you know it takes two to tango. Did you ever consider what men want? Nowadays, it's always about the demand of the women and how to please her. Muslim sisters nowadays can reject or accept proposals because at the end of the day it's the decision of the sister because she has to give up the most.  For marriage, sisters have to give up their family who raised her, her house she grew up in, and most of the time her last name which identifies her family background.  With all the sacrifices the women make, you still should look into what men want. Sisters who cannot get married or still haven't found anyone should really look into what men want and should compromise WITHOUT compromising your own values.

Men Are Simple
Whether you like it or not, men are simple creature. There is such thing as "guys are complicated".  Guys are rational, and they are straightforward, and they will not play games.  Sisters, remember all guys are not the same but they all want the same thing.  After marriage, you give them these things, and he will treat you like a queen inshaAllah.  Guys want the following:

  • Guys love food; to reach a man's heart, go through his stomach, which is a universal fact for all men.
  • Nurturing; as in taking care of him, such as giving him a massage after a hard days work as a small example.
  • Love and love making.
  • Guys want loyalty; that means, don't go check out or flirting with other men, even if it seems harmless to you, it's very harmful to your marriage and your relationship with your husband.  (And this goes the same for the guys in relation to their wives.)
Men Want a Wife Not Another Income
Men want a wife who can take care of them. Men don't want to deal with career oriented women. It's okay to have a career as a woman but keep in mind, men want a wife and not another income. If you think your husband will compromise himself for your career then I can assure you that you will have a difficult time finding your special someone. If you want a career, then try to make your career around your family and not the other way around.  It's in a man's nature to find someone who will burn the fire of love at home.

Men Want a Partner Not a Boss
The wives in the families keep the family together so they have authority in the family. However, with that authority don't think that you can put your husband on a leash. Look at the Western society and how family life is breaking down, and it starts with the mutual respect between the spouses. The wife is the glue to the entire family.  Allah (SWT) created women perfectly to attract her male partner.  A women's voice, her body's shape, her beautiful face, her facial glow, her soft skin, and her love is what makes her feminine.  A woman's love is unmatched; no money in the world can match up to a woman's love and for that reason ladies, you should choose well and give your love to a deserving man.  With that said, the man will give you back that love and more.

If anything I said is wrong, it came from my faults, and I ask you to forgive me, and if I said anything good then it came from Allah (SWT). Ameen.

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How to Spot Mr. Astagfirullah

Ladies, how do you spot a guy that could be a rotten apple for you and your future.  We all know that you should do Isthakara Salah before committing to someone, because you want Allah (SWT)'s guidance in choosing your spouse.  However, you don't want to waste your time getting to know someone when he is a bad apple from the beginning.

Red Flags to Watch Out For in a Guy: 
  1. Doesn't pray, especially on a regular basis other than Friday Jummah salah.
  2. Doesn't eat halal food.
  3. Doesn't have halal income.  An example would be he has a huge savings account with accumulating interest intentionally to profit from. 
  4. Has a dog in the house (having a dog outside is not the same as having a dog in the house).
  5. He is rude to his elders, especially his parents.
Facts to Consider so you May Not Miss Out on a Good Guy:
  1. Has a bad past, such as having past relationships.  You want to avoid looking into who he was, and focus on who he is. Umar bin al Khattab said, “Sometimes the people with the worst past, create the best future”.
  2. Don't judge based on what he's wearing.  If you didn't talk to him and he is dressed as if he's Mr. GQ then don't walk away until you spoken to him and got to know him.  You would be surprised the hidden imaan in brothers who dress in secular manner.
  3. Don't avoid him if he's divorced.  Western society always labels the guy is at fault, but Western society also gives a lot of power to the ladies to abuse the law and take everything.
I hope this helps, and always depend on Allah (SWT) for everything.  Make dua and pour your heart out to our Lord to grant us the best. If I said anything wrong then it came from my own faults, please forgive me, and all the good I said came from Allah (SWT). Ameen.

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