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Dating is haram when it comes to religious point of view. However, dating is subjective, as in it can be used in different situations based on the individual's point of view. When I made the title "halal dating" it's really halal dating, as in getting to know someone with the intention of getting married in a halal manner. Before we go into details, keep one thing in mind, this is from a practicing Muslim point of view so "dating" is viewed in a different manner.
If you touch each other, kiss each other, sleep with each other, with the intention of getting married then that is haram. It doesn't matter if you have the intention of getting married, before you sign the nikkah contract with the other person or engaged with the other person, you are not allowed to do anything with your potential spouse. Dating in this context means to get to know each other as friends or acquaintances for a potential married life.
How to have halal date:
- Before you meet the other person, make sure you have a pure intention and an open mind. Make sure you look for the religious side in the other person and if the other person strives to follow the Sunnah of Muhmmad (SAW). Marriage is sunnath, and those who have the ability to marry should marry to protect one from zina, and to be protected from fitna. Marriage provides a secure companionship for both partners.
- Meet with a group of friends in a public place. Obviously, the friends will know what is going on; make sure you tell the friends to give you and the person you are interested in the opportunity to talk by yourselves. That doesn't mean to talk to each other in a private room. What I mean is sitting down in a coffee shop or a similar public environment and the friends will sit in a separate table or be nearby. That's the initial stage. However, if you and your potential souse want to meet again then bringing friends shouldn't matter if you are in public place.
- Let your parents know if you are interested. In order for a marriage to go through, the girl's wali (guardian) must approve. Don't talk and talk to a point you start getting attached to the person and then tell your parents, because the parents may say no. Let your parents know from the beginning so you can get approval from them before you move forward.
- Don't ever meet in a private area. Whenever two people who are allowed to get married, are in a place alone, there will always be a third being, a shaytaan (a jinn, follower of iblis, or iblis himself), who will try to get you two to commit haram acts (ex. kissing, fondling, fornication, etc).
- Ask about what you want in life and your lifestyle choices. Ask each other openly about what you are looking for and what your goals are and what your interests are. Make sure you don't hide anything and don't lie, because you have to live with this person. Make sure you asked about "everything" and do not hesitate to ask about the littlest things.
Do not discuss about your past. You may not have a clean or religious past, but that's not for your future spouse to judge, that's for Allah (SWT) to judge. Don't deny that you had a past, but just tell the other person it's better not to discuss it.- Don't talk about inappropriate things such as intimate things. All that is reserve for a "married" couple. You should never discuss things that is only reserve for the bedroom.
- When you are away from each other, do not talk that much via chatting or texting because it will increase your attachment with each other and it will cloud your judgement. If you two like each other then tell each other that you do. However, do not delay, if you two live in the same city and your families meet often, then you should know if the other person is right for you in a month or so.
- After meeting each other, make sure you do ishtikara salah. After doing ishtikara salah, Allah (SWT) will guide you. If Allah makes things easier for you then you know the other person is right for you, if not, then either the other person is not right for you, or the timing is not right. Allah knows best.
I hope these tips help you find your soulmate. Remember, conduct this in a halal manner and make dua to Allah (SWT) as much as you can.
