Let me tell you fellas, the Muslim girls are screening you all the time and you should be screening them, no pun intended ladies. There are different criteria for different people but the basic should be obvious and I'm going to point them out.

The reason you should be screening girls is because the person you end up falling for will be your partner for life, and there's no going back.

Does she look good?

Let's face it, in this day and age where superficial characteristics are prioritized, one has to look descent enough to attract the opposite sex. I'll admit, some Muslim guys rely so much in finding a faithful girl that they don't clean them selves up. They don't work out, and unless their are reading their prayers, they think with their penises. But fellas, I'll admit, us guys want a pretty face to wake up to. So I don't blame you if you're looking for a good-looking girl to marry, but you gotta fix yourself up too.

Does she value education?

Traditional Arab and Pakistani guys don't prioritize their wives to have a good education, which will setup for a disaster. An educated woman will always boost the family in some shape or form. Let me tell you why. The wife has the biggest influence in the family because she is a spouse, she becomes the mother, and the daughter-in-law, and sister-in-law. The wife should always be given the highest priority for education if you want a secured future for your kids and for yourself. An educated wife will make the best decision for the family. I've noticed Bangladeshi, Indonesian, Turkish, Malaysian, and Morroccon Muslims value women education. In addition, you can have the most amazing conversation with an educated girl without looking below her neck or fantisizing her naked (that's after marriage, keep it halal!).

How does she treat animals or waiters?

A god way to test a person's character is to put them in scenarios with others who are vulnerable. Some Muslim girls may not like anything other than Cats, and others may not like animals at all. However, if you go to a restarant, keep on eye on them when an underpaid, overworked waiter serves her. If she shows respect and recognition to the waiter then that's a positive sign. If she doesn't show any recognition to the waiter, then it's okay. However, if she shows a pint of disrespect then dump her without giving her any second chances. The reason I say this, if you correct her, then you will always have to correct her. Treating others with respect comes from an individual's personality. Keep in mind that her parents and your parents will grow old and they will become vulnerable.

Can she think independently?

This question probably scares a lot of Arab/Pakistani guys with a backward mentality. To these guys, an independent women probably means not getting rotis whenever they want or not getting naked and having sex whenever the guys want. Unfortunately for those men, a person, even a woman, has the right to think. And when a woman thinks independently, then she can make decisions for herself and for her family in times of hardships when the husband is not around. Unfortunately a lot of Muslim girls don't get the opportunity to learn before marriage because their parents refrain them from learning out of fear.

I hope this post help and remember, and I hope the ladies don't feel insulted. I'm just speaking based on my opinion.

What I noticed about different married couples is that females are not always the logical ones in the relationship. They are understanding for the most part, but not all the time. Guys, on the other hand, can be immature, impulsive, yet logical. So I guess there is a balance, as in one partner fills in for the deficiency of the other.

I don't always say this, but guys, you should be consistent in treating your partner with respect even when she is not respectful to you. Females are complicated and they are not logical all the time, hence, they may say things that will hurt you and disrespect you. However, that's no excuse for you to retaliate or hurt them. Allah loves those who are patient. So be patient with your partner and give them the benefit of doubt. Maybe your partner is going through something and they're unable to express it to you. If you ask what's wrong, and they'll tell you "I'm fine", which basically means she's not fine, but sit next to her and offer your shoulder for her to lean on.

Ladies, you are not off the hook yet. How is it that girls cannot remember to turn off and unplug their hair straightener, but can remember what their partner said 5 years ago at 11:50 PM? It's funny but true.

At the end of the day, all I'm saying is, guys are logical and for that reason, they have their heads together (for the most part), and in doing so, they should be patient with their female partners.

Remember Allah (SWT) is watching and will reward you for your patience.

Ladies, how do you spot a guy that could be a rotten apple for you and your future.  We all know that you should do Isthakara Salah before committing to someone, because you want Allah (SWT)'s guidance in choosing your spouse.  However, you don't want to waste your time getting to know someone when he is a bad apple from the beginning.

Red Flags to Watch Out For in a Guy: 

1. Doesn't pray, especially on a regular basis other than Friday Jummah salah.
2. Doesn't eat halal food.
3. Doesn't have halal income.  An example would be he has a huge savings account with accumulating interest intentionally to profit from. 
4. Has a dog in the house (having a dog outside is not the same as having a dog in the house).
5. He is rude to his elders, especially his parents.

Facts to Consider so you May Not Miss Out on a Good Guy:

1. Has a bad past, such as having past relationships.  You want to avoid looking into who he was, and focus on who he is. Umar bin al Khattab said, “Sometimes the people with the worst past, create the best future”.
2. Don't judge based on what he's wearing.  If you didn't talk to him and he is dressed as if he's Mr. GQ then don't walk away until you spoken to him and got to know him.  You would be surprised the hidden imaan in brothers who dress in secular manner.
3. Don't avoid him if he's divorced.  Western society always labels the guy is at fault, but Western society also gives a lot of power to the ladies to abuse the law and take everything.

I hope this helps, and always depend on Allah (SWT) for everything.  Make dua and pour your heart out to our Lord to grant us the best. If I said anything wrong then it came from my own faults, please forgive me, and all the good I said came from Allah (SWT). Ameen.

The following video explains what is allowed and what is not allowed in Islam in terms of sexual intimacy. It's a funny lecture, and I hope you enjoy it.

As we expand this site on the topic of halal relationships, I wanted to bring about the problems with having a boyfriend or girlfriend, hence a pre-martial intimate relationship. We were always told by our elders that it's wrong but you will still see Muslim youth still engaging in this relationships.  The worst thing is some Muslim parents actually embrace it because it's a "modern" thing to do. When we talk about haram pre-marriage relationships, there are many degrees of it:

• 1st degree: there is no touching but "just talking" intimately 
• 2nd degree: just hugging and touching. 
• 3rd degree: deals with everything previously mentioned but with kissing, and sex.

In Surah (17): Verse 32:

And come not near to the unlawful sexual intercourse. Verily, it is a Fahishah [i.e. anything that transgresses its limits (a great sin)], and an evil way (that leads one to Hell unless Allah forgives him).

What will talk about is the 3rd degree relationship, in which there is no limits. If a person has an intimate relationship with someone before marriage, and plans to get married to that person, what guarantees that it will work out? There isn't any accept with the will of Allah (SWT).  Let's take it a step further; when we talk about intimate, we mean 3rd degree relationship. And after a while the relationship weakness and falls apart and partners go your separate ways.

Now the person, boy in this case, has several of these pre-martial relationships and then decides to get married to a particular girl he likes, and wants to get married with that girl. They talk about marriage the girl's past comes up, and he finds out that she did have a past. It bothers him because he did haram things in the past but he wants a pure girl for the children of his mother. Do you think that's fair? Why should he judge the girl for her past if his past isn't clean? And I specifically mention this antagonizing the guy because it's usually guys who have this issue. In my university I've seen guys who mess around with girls and when it comes to marriage they go back to Pakistan and marry their cousin, who never had a boyfriend. He didn't want to marry those girls they dated, because they had no respect for those girls.

Unfortunately people who engaged with multiple pre-mariatial relationships have a hard time being satisfied after they get married. These individuals are so desensitized by the opposite sex that they won't feel excited about marriage.

Why Boyfriend/Girlfriend Relationships are Bad News

Let's take another scenario and make it complex, what if two people who click with each other and they can be the best of friends and the best of couples. However, the girl messed around before she decided to be religious and get married and the guy is a virgin. When the guy finds out about her past, he breaks down and it bothers him to be around her, and he does not see her the same respectful way. This is not fair for the guy and a marriage in this scenario usually doesn't happen. When people have pre-marriage relationships then it affects potential futures. Also, nowadays, among the guys there is this antagonizing view of women without a clean past. If one guy dates a girl, but doesn't work out, then another guy who friends with him, will not want to approach that same girl, because she is "used" by his friend. You see why we shouldn't have pre-marriage relationships; it destroys opportunities for potential marriages.

Don't Talk About the Past

This one thing you should know. You should never ever tell your potential partner or spouse about your past relationship. What I mean is, it's up to you to tell your partner or not if you had a past, but don't give the details. Don't tell your spouse what you did in your past, because it will hurt your partner even if your partner had a past. After marriage, in an argument you partner may use your past against you; they may say they won't but your part will, it's human nature. Your partner's past is for Allah to know, and not for you.

Muslim brothers and sisters, there is someone for everyone. And Allah (SWT) will pair us with whoever is best  for us. If you want a pious person, then keep your self pious or go back Islam and increase your deen.  And Allah (SWT) will grant you a pious spouse.

Okay, first of all mingling in the Western sense is wrong in Islam. In the Islamic perspective, free mixing in wrong and I'm not advocating it. I'm sure we are all guilty of it even though we know it's wrong. I just wrote the title to catch your attention and if you're reading this then it worked. However, it's ok to talk to the opposite gender if you have good intentions but you should lower your gaze, especially Muslim brothers. As in Muslim brothers should not be looking at the sister below her neck. Remember brothers, the girl's eyes are above her chest, not on them. And when the sister walks away your eyes have no excuse of looking at their tushi.

Single Muslims of the opposite genders should talk to each other, because if they don't then how do you expect to find your potential spouse. Usually in universities is the best place to meet many people and many functions such as weddings, MSA gatherings, dinner parties, etc.

So you're single and waiting for that Sapno Ki Rani (dream girl) or your prince charming.  So here is the problem here, you are "waiting". Why are you waiting, I hope you are not sitting around because you are probably passing a lot of potentials by. You probably said no to a potential without realizing what you've done, but Allah (SWT) will help you find that person again if you two and your potential are meant to be. Don't be very closed up, go to functions and make yourself known. Tell your social circle that you are looking and the word will spread.

Have you made immense amount of dua to Allah? When you make dua, you have the right to make any dua you want, hence to marry anyone you want. But I strongly recommend you should make a dua to grant you what is good and a person who is good, and Allah only knows what's in the heart of the person you are interested in. Make your dua during fajr time and of course in Tahajjud prayer when Allah (SWT) is closest to Earth.

Here is a dua for guys to consider:

Rabbi innee lima anzalta ilayya min khayrin faqeerun

The translation reads "My Lord! truly, I am in need of whatever good that You bestow on me!"

For the Muslim sisters recite Surah Ad-Duha(93).

Waaldduha

Waallayli itha saja

Ma waddaAAaka rabbuka wama qala

Walalakhiratu khayrun laka mina aloola

Walasawfa yuAAteeka rabbuka fatarda

Alam yajidka yateeman faawa

Wawajadaka dallan fahada

Wawajadaka AAailan faaghna

Faamma alyateema fala taqhar

Waamma alssaila fala tanhar

Waamma biniAAmati rabbika fahaddith

The translations reads:

By the Glorious Morning Light,

And by the Night when it is still,-

Thy Guardian-Lord hath not forsaken thee, nor is He displeased.

And verily the Hereafter will be better for thee than the present.

And soon will thy Guardian-Lord give thee (that wherewith) thou shalt be well-pleased.

Did He not find thee an orphan and give thee shelter (and care)?

And He found thee wandering, and He gave thee guidance.

And He found thee in need, and made thee independent.

Therefore, treat not the orphan with harshness,

Nor repulse the petitioner (unheard);

But the bounty of the Lord - rehearse and proclaim!

Dua Source: Deen Islam

The ideal spouse that you should focus on is the one that when you look at that person you have no trouble in saying MashAllah, SubhanAllah, and inshAllah, but hopefully not Astagfirullah. I'm not saying the potential spouse has to be Bollywood material or like the Dubaian celebrity Omar Borkan Al- Gala (picture below), but someone with descent looks or a someone with a great personality, imaan, and character or perhaps with all of them combined.

First of all your imaan defines who you are in terms of being a practicing Muslim. Only Allah (Azza Wa Jaal) knows what's in your heart and what you a person needs. But the brothers don't know what's in your heart and your actions define who you are. You can say all you want that you do this and you do that but at the end of the day your actions speak louder than your words.

The questions you should ask yourself are:

1. Are you ready for marriage?

2. Can you live with someone with the opposite gender?

3. Can you be patient with another person?

4. Can you sacrifice for the other person?

If you answer yes to all that, now you should move to the next question:

6. How will you attract that person?

Every guy has a different taste in women. A short man may like tall women, a tall man may like short women. At the end of the day, you need to attract that Mr. MashAllah who will like you for who you are without you even trying.

Increase your Faith in Allah

First and foremost, you should make dua and increase your relationship with Allah (SWT). Make constant dua to find that particular spouse that you heart desires. Don't be fooled in what society tells you to like. For example, what's wrong with a darker skin woman? If a Muslim brother likes a darker skin sister then it's ok, but society, especially in the Desi (South Asian) community, the aunties favor a shaada, gori (fair skinned) girl for their sons. When we are placed in front of Allah (SWT) we will not be judged based on what skin color we were given in the duniya, but how strong our deen was and how many good deeds we conducted.

Be Attractive Physically

I know this seems like a jerky statement but you have to understand that men are visual creatures and they will not be attractive to overweight women. It's a cold, hard fact; men avoid the heavy group of women. Men favor petite or skinny women because with age the body mass will increase for women, especially after marriage so, they want a skinny spouse to start with. So sisters, if your BMI is over 22, please drop the biryani and the sweets and hit the gym hard core. I'm not saying you should wear butt tight clothes but even if you wear the abaya and the hijab, it shows if you are slim or not.

Be Feminine

Unfortunately ladies, men are attracted to the opposite of themselves. You have to understand that you are as a woman you won't be attracted to a man who is kind of feminine and soft. The opposite goes for men; they will not like a Muslim sister who boasts about being independent and tough which is a masculine trait. Ignore this whole feminism movement that you hear in the Western media and accept how Allah (SWT) created both of the genders. Women and men have a role in the household. If both partners agree that the wife can work then that's permissible but if you think that as a woman you will prioritize your career above all and be able to find a caring husband, then I'm sorry sister you are mistaken. Don't get me wrong, it's ok for women to have a job and maintain a family; however, keep on thing in mind, that men are like big babies, and you have to treat them like big babies. That means you should take the role of cooking, because in order to get to a man's heart you have to go through is stomach. If you have cooking skills, that just boosts your value in the market. That's just one characteristic of being feminine, but there's numerous to name them all.

Be Humble
MashAllah you may be a beautiful woman, but if you boast about your beauty then it will work against you. Be humble about your beauty. Humbleness is a characteristic that is very attractive to both genders. Be humble is also promoted in the etiquette of following Islam. If you think you are not humble then consider this fact, as a human you are nothing, everything was given to you as a blessing from Allah (SWT), and at his will, everything can be taken away from you.

This post may sound anti-feminine, but however, it's pro-women. You cannot fight the human nature of men and women. These are the basics which I named, but there are numerous more on how to attract that Mr. MashAllah. I hope this helps and if you have any more suggestions then don't hesitate to add them in the comment box.

Dating is haram when it comes to religious point of view. However, dating is subjective, as in it can be used in different situations based on the individual's point of view. When I made the title "halal dating" it's really halal dating, as in getting to know someone with the intention of getting married in a halal manner. Before we go into details, keep one thing in mind, this is from a practicing Muslim point of view so "dating" is viewed in a different manner.

If you touch each other, kiss each other, sleep with each other, with the intention of getting married then that is haram. It doesn't matter if you have the intention of getting married, before you sign the nikkah contract with the other person or engaged with the other person, you are not allowed to do anything with your potential spouse. Dating in this context means to get to know each other as friends or acquaintances for a potential married life.

How to have halal date:

1. Before you meet the other person, make sure you have a pure intention and an open mind. Make sure you look for the religious side in the other person and if the other person strives to follow the Sunnah of Muhmmad (SAW). Marriage is sunnath, and those who have the ability to marry should marry to protect one from zina, and to be protected from fitna. Marriage provides a secure companionship for both partners.
   
   
2. Meet with a group of friends in a public place. Obviously, the friends will know what is going on; make sure you tell the friends to give you and the person you are interested in the opportunity to talk by yourselves. That doesn't mean to talk to each other in a private room. What I mean is sitting down in a coffee shop or a similar public environment and the friends will sit in a separate table or be nearby. That's the initial stage. However, if you and your potential souse want to meet again then bringing friends shouldn't matter if you are in public place.
   
   
3. Let your parents know if you are interested. In order for a marriage to go through, the girl's wali (guardian) must approve. Don't talk and talk to a point you start getting attached to the person and then tell your parents, because the parents may say no. Let your parents know from the beginning so you can get approval from them before you move forward.
   
   
4. Don't ever meet in a private area. Whenever two people who are allowed to get married, are in a place alone, there will always be a third being, a shaytaan (a jinn, follower of iblis, or iblis himself), who will try to get you two to commit haram acts (ex. kissing, fondling, fornication, etc).
   
   
5. Ask about what you want in life and your lifestyle choices.  Ask each other openly about what you are looking for and what your goals are and what your interests are. Make sure you don't hide anything and don't lie, because you have to live with this person. Make sure you asked about "everything" and do not hesitate to ask about the littlest things.
   
   
6. Do not discuss about your past. You may not have a clean or religious past, but that's not for your future spouse to judge, that's for Allah (SWT) to judge. Don't deny that you had a past, but just tell the other person it's better not to discuss it.
   
   
7. Don't talk about inappropriate things such as intimate things. All that is reserve for a "married" couple. You should never discuss things that is only reserve for the bedroom.
   
   
8. When you are away from each other, do not talk that much via chatting or texting because it will increase your attachment with each other and it will cloud your judgement. If you two like each other then tell each other that you do. However, do not delay, if you two live in the same city and your families meet often, then you should know if the other person is right for you in a month or so.
   
   
   
9. After meeting each other, make sure you do ishtikara salah. After doing ishtikara salah, Allah (SWT) will guide you. If Allah makes things easier for you then you know the other person is right for you, if not, then either the other person is not right for you, or the timing is not right. Allah knows best.

I hope these tips help you find your soulmate. Remember, conduct this in a halal manner and make dua to Allah (SWT) as much as you can.

Sisters, this is from a girl's point of view. From experiences we need to get out of our princess phase and accept reality.

Do you feel blessed that you got the strength to put on the hijab if you didn't do so earlier in life? Do you feel peace when you do remind others of Islamic practices? Do you now want to get married to complete half of your deen? Have you rejected proposal because he wasn't Channing Tatum with a sunnah style beard? Well if all your answer was yes to all the questions then please keep reading.

Congratulations on putting on the hijab and may Allah (SWT) reward you for it, if you put it on to please him and not your family or society.  The hijab is a powerful symbol of humbleness and honor for women in Islam. Allah, the almighty, have granted you women with physical beauty that will bring sweetness the eyes of men. Unfortunately, our beauty could attract the wrong type of men so that's why putting on the hijab became mandatory in Islam.

Now, let's get into the juicy stuff, marriage. Marriage is more than just satisfying one's sexual desire, it's a union between a man and female to grow together worshiping Allah (SWT) in this life and insha'Allah go to jannah (heaven) together in the akhira (hereafter). However, sisters nowadays seem to getting a little picky and not prioritizing marriage. The typical excuse is finishing your school or establishing yourself a career; which is good by the way. However, if you are in your early 20s, and you are trying to avoid marriage till you reach your late 20s or may be in your 30s, then you really should check yourself. There is no set age for marriage, but unfortunately ladies, our biological time is ticking and it's up to you to use what Allah granted you and lock a guy in.

At work, I heard one Muslim sister in her early 20s, "guys will always be after me". I just shook my head because right now her face is young and her skin is smooth so she has her physical beauty, but that's going to start to fade away as she ages.

Some of you if not all, are rejecting guys left and right because he may not be "tall enough" or "sexy enough" or "rich enough" or may not look as good as Sheik Saad Tasleem (pic on right) or whatever the reason is. Yes it's important to be physically attractive or attractive to the person one way or another, but you have to give the guy a chance. When I say give the guy a chance that means give it time to talk to him and get to know him and see if your goals are similar to his or if your interests are similar to his. I have shown pictures of religious Muslim guys to beautiful Muslim sisters, and just by looking at their pictures they rejected him. It's unfortunate sisters are rejecting left and right because eventually those proposals or "rishtas" will run out. When those rishtas run out then you possible will "settle" for a guy who is probably not good enough for you and your future.

Girls, our peak time is in our early 20s, so use your age to attract that guy of yours. If you watch Bollywood and Hollywood movies, then take a break from all that because that's not reality. Real men don't put on make-up and workout 6 hours a day (even though working out and staying fit is a must). Real men have jobs to earn money and support their families. Those Hollywood and Bollywood male stars are possible eye candies but at the end of the day you have to face reality.

You put on the hijab to guard your modesty, how about you get married young so you can protect your eyes from fitna, especially in this Western society where fitna is a norm.

Men don't like older women, that's the ugly truth. There are more of us females in the world than men; therefore, males have more choices. If you reject a guy for superficial reasons than expect to get rejected for the same reasons. Look at the guy for his piety instead of what he has or gained superficially. Guys like younger women because men are visual creatures and they want to have kids. The earlier a woman has kids the less likely there will be complications with the pregnancy, as science puts it. Yes, Allah (SWT) can change things around at his will, but Allah helps those who help themselves. So instead of wasting time in your early 20s, make dua and look for that Mr. Right; and may Allah (SWT) grant us all with spouses who will be best for us in this duniya and in the akhira.

I hope no sisters are offended by this post; this post is only a reminder and not a way to put fellow sisters down.